Beekeeping is one of the fastest growing bee-related activities today. But despite the name, it takes more than just hanging onto the bees to be successful. Read on to discover how to introduce your dog to the fascinating and profitable world of honeybee-keepery.
(Bees – it’s what’s for dinner)
First, attach a net to your dog's back and have them run through a flowery field in the summer at noon. This will allow you to collect the "pioneer bees" needed for bootstrapping a hive. Between 30 and 50 bees will do.
Next, find a big wooden box that can close entirely and put it on a table outside. This is what professionals call a "bee home". This is where your bees will live.
Have your dog shake all of the bees into the box and seal them up for 3 days and 3 nights. This is the period of Great Deliberation when the bees will form a government.
On the morning of the 4th day, cut a hole on the side of the box and peek inside. If everything has gone right, you'll bear witness to the new queen's coronation ceremony. If you see the bees casting votes (democracy) or they're all dead (failed state) then throw the box away and start over.
You and your dog should visit the bee home every few days to make sure the bees are keeping. Feel free to dump more bees into the box whenever you're running low.
Eventually your bees will learn geometry and begin to produce honey. Hexagon honey is best overall, but don't worry if you wind up with other polygons.
NOTE: On very rare occasions, you might return to discover all of the bees missing. If this happens then your bees have been raptured and your box is blessed. Pray for the bees as they look down on you from bee heaven.
That's it! Your dog now has an apiary. The bees should remain fresh for years to come.